I Wish I Felt Better...

These are the things I wish I felt better about...

1.) Health
2.) Finances
3.) Job
4.) Paying for my son's college.
5.) Family relationships


These are the things I want to do before I die...

1.) Go on a cruise
2.) See my son successful, married and happy
3.) Grandchildren!!
4.) Visit New York and the East Coast.
5.) Visit California
6.) Have no worries about my health
7.) Retire!!!
8.) Win the lottery


These are the things that I am Thankful for..

1.) My relationship with the Lord
2.) My wonderful husband
3.) My son
4.) My parents
5.) My Mother-In-Law Betty


These are the improvements I am making in my life...

1.) Health...which covers the following..
A.) Losing weight
B.) exercise
C.) Healthy Lifestyle
D.) Taking care of my Kidney problem.

2.) Personality--I can be a real b**** sometimes.

3.) Cleanliness is next to Godliness...my house and my garage are a mess.

4.) My relationship with my husband. NUFF SAID!!


I know that no one really cares about what I write here. It is just for me to look at and remind myself.

Thank God for Insurance!!!

Well, it has been several days since my last entry. I went into the hospital on Thursday and just got out today. I never in my life was so tired of a hospital. Basically, I am anemic, have bad kidneys and something wrong with my head. On the good side my blood pressure is low and I am not even on medicine for it and I have a very healthy heart.

I am so thankful that we have insurance. I had to have test where they shoot radioactive stuff in me. I should have been glowing!!! Anyway, most of the nurses were very nice and attentive but there were a couple that I wanted to stomp in the ground!!!

I'm out now. I have to go have an MRI and MRA done. The Neurologist says she wants to do a spinal tap. Yeah right!!! If the MRI comes back ok...forget it!!

I guess this is all for now.

Take care...if anyone reads this.

My Best Friend

I would like to tell you about my best friend. Her name is Bobbie Jean Carnathan Ruffin McCauley. She is my mom. My rock. She was the youngest of 4 daughters born to Walter Clifton and Clara Eunice Carnathan. They were the best grandparents you would ever want to have. My grandmother taught me alot. Anyway, back to my best friend...

She married Joe E. Ruffin in 1955, I believe. She was 17 and he was 19. Yes, they were young and no she was not pregnant!! A year later they had my oldest brother, Ricky, then a couple of years later they had my brother Greg. Then a couple of years later it was my turn!!! My mom almost died after having me. I will never forget the stories that have been told to me.

I try to think back as far as I can and remember things about my mom. I can remember a Christmas at Mamaw and Papaw's house in Oklahoma. The house was on Osage street. I was 4 I think. I had a new step-dad, Buddy (a wonderful story in it's self!) I remember they had gone out and cut down a tree for the Christmas tree. Actually I remember them bringing in the tree. That's the only thing I remember, except me having a Tea Party with my Auntie Doy with my new Christmas dishes. I guess my clearest memories is when we lived on Sandy Meadow in Houston. I can remember my mom ironing. Isn't that funny? I remember the smell of the starch that she shook out of a coke bottle I think with a lid with holes in it. I remember I got an ironing board and iron (kiddie) for Christmas during that time and I was going to be just like my mommy. (Today...Iron...are you kidding!!!) I remember my mom and step dad, who I will call dad now watching bull fights. I remember them making a candle out of crayons. I remember when my sister Sherryl was born and they played a trick on me and Greg and said that we couldn't see her till we got home and they made us squat down in the back seat. It was just a joke and we got to see her before we got home. I remember mom and dad's bed. It was always a safe haven. Today's terms this may sound awful, or perverted or whatever, but it was a loving bonding time. It was a time to have chats and just cuddle with my mom. I loved it so much. I remember one time she got mad at dad because he got home late from work and the weather was really stormy and she got mad at him for not calling her and telling her he was going to be late. Isn't it funny the things you remember. I remember I had a canopy bed. I thought it was the greatest thing in the world.

Then there was the school years in Oklahoma. My mom was at school it seemed every day. She was even Santa Clause one year. (Ok, now to a kid that would probably be really embarrassing, but then it wasn't) I remember her coming in to my 4th grade class and looking for something in her purse and she pulled out some weird things...a baby sock (Sherryl's); a sponge roller, and Lord knows what else!!! That time I was a little embarrassed.

When we moved back to Houston she worked and so she wasn't very involved in school. It didn't really matter that much though. She was always there when I needed her.

My biggest regret in my life is when I disappointed her so much when I like most other kids in the 70's experimented with pot. She over heard a conversation I was having and the look on her face, the hurt in her eyes just killed me. I will never ever forget that for as long as I live. I was the good kid. Never gave them much problem and then this. It was awful, but I guarantee you one thing, once she was finished with me, I never touched the stuff again. (Thanks Mom!!)

There was high school, graduation and then working. Wow!!! I was an adult. I had my own ideas and ways I thought my life should be and I learned many lessons from my mistakes and from not listening to my mom. You know, you think, "what does she know". Well, now that I am a parent of an adult, I realize that mom wasn't so stupid.

I got married at 21, had a baby at 23 and divorced at 25. Wow...if it hadn't been for my parents I would have never it through that. I was allowed to go home with my child. Then after a couple of years I was back on my feet and moved into an apartment. My mom was always a phone call away or right down the street. Then I got stupid again. Married for 6 months and divorced when he started hitting me and Jeremy. Once again my parents took us in. Then we moved out again after a couple of years and FINALLY I found someone who loves me unconditionally!!! Even my parents like him!!!

My mom has always been there, either monetarily or in prayer or even in just a phone call for me. In the last month or two I have found out that my health is declining and I was so scared. I had to call my mom so that I could just hear her voice and after I was finished talking to her, I knew that everything would be ok. One way or the other.

I feel guilty because I live so far away from my parents. It is about 2 1/2 hours to Lake Livingston where they have retired. You know with kids and work there are never enough hours in the day, or days in the week to take care of everything and I feel that I haven't visited her like I should.

I wish I was closer to mom so that I could see her regularly. I miss her so much. There are days I just need her. I usually call her once a day. Sometimes I can go a couple but no more that 3 or 4 days without talking to her.

Mom, if you do read this, please know that if I didn't have you for a mom, I don't know how I would have gotten through these last 41 years. Thank you so much for being there. For the words of wisdom. Some I love to hear and others I don't. Thank you thank you thank you.

I love you.

A Great Man...A Sad Day

I was 17 when Ronald Reagan was elected president. He did so much for the US and foreign policies. He was a family man, loving husband, and yes, at one point the most powerful man in the world. Today as I sat and watched them take his body to the Capitol in Washington D.C. and tears ran down my cheeks, I remembered words from his speeches, especially the one when the space shuttle blew up in 1986. "They have passed the surly bonds of earth to touch the face of God." (May be misquoted, but still beautiful.)

He came from a poor childhood to California to being an actor, to being the governor of California to being the President of the United States. He will be on my mind and forever in my heart. Goodbye Mr. President...we will miss you.

Hi Ho Hi Ho It's Off to Work We Go...

Due to the increase in rising gas costs I now carpool with my darling Mark. It's great to be able to have adult conversations on the way to and from work. Some times we argue and sometimes we laugh. Thank goodness today was a laugh day. I can really gripe sometimes. Poor Mark.

Mark takes me to the Light Rail station and I ride the train to downtown Houston. The train station is only about 5 minutes from the VA Hospital where he works. So, it is a great way for us to save money.

Mark is off on Fridays so that is the only day I drive.

This week I won't have to because I am having a biopsy done on my kidneys to see what the matter may be with me.

I'm scared but I am sure everything will turn out fine. I don't like pain too much.

Anyway, we enjoy driving together. I gripe about his driving a lot!!! I always tell him..."Don't cross the double white line!! You will get a ticket!!"

Well, it's raining like mad here and the lightening and thunder has begun so I will close this now.

This is all for now.

To Do List

Today is Sunday and Mark works. I hate him working on the weekend but that is his shift so he has to do it. Sometimes I go with him. I can't today because I have a long list of things to do...

1.) I have to finish work for my job and get it faxed to them.
2.) My laundry is a nice pile now and I need to conquer the mountain.
3.) I need to go through closets and stuff and get things for the
garage sale we are going to have soon.
4.) How much will get done? Hopefully all, but knowing me? Only 1
and 2.

You see, it's not that I am lazy. Well, maybe a little, but we cleaned this house for 3 months getting ready for family to come down for Jeremy's graduation and I don't want to clean anymore. The thing is, that if I do a little now, I won't have to do a lot ever again!!! Great concept, huh?

I need a maid. That's what I have decided. Unfortunately, it's me. We can't afford to hire one. You know, we played the Texas Lottery last night. I wonder if we are millionaires? The pot was up to 81 Million. What could you do with 81 million? I know what I would do.....have a heart attack, die and lose it all!! Not really, I would pay off all of our bills, cars, house. Pay for Jeremy's college. Rent this house and build a house closer to my sister and mom and dad. I would of course give to the American Cancer Society, and various other charities that mean a lot to me. Invest, invest, invest...of course I would also be selfish. I would trade in my Chevy Malibu and get me a Cadillac Escalade. I would sell Mark's Jeep and get him the car of his choice. And of course get rid of Jeremy's Tracker and get him what he wanted. Dream dream dream...that's all it is. Oh well...back to the real world.

So, I guess I had better get to climbing the mountain. Thanks for reading.

R

The love of my life. My Mark. I love you!!! 

Sharing is half the fun..

I thought I would share some of our family photos so you could see who I was talking about in my first post. So, scroll down and enjoy.

Her Highness Heidi and her cat, Abbey. 

Jeremy's night. The medal around his neck is for being a "Texas Scholar". We are very proud!! 

My Mark and his mom Betty who was visiting from Michigan. She came down for Jeremy's Graduation. 

Jeremy at last concert in High School.  

Introducing....ME!!!!

My name is Robbyn. I live in Rosenberg, Texas which is about 35 miles southwest of Houston. I have a wonderful husband, Mark and a great son, Jeremy who is now 18, graduated from high school this year and will be starting college in the fall.

We are allowed to share our dog's house. Her name is Heidi. She is a 2 year old Daschund and she is a mess. She rules the roost!!! She also allows our 5 year old cat, Abbey to live here. We actually got Heidi for Abbey's 3rd birthday. I don't think she was very appreciative. The other animal in the house is a big mouthed Cockatiel named Bogy. He is a screecher!! He also whistles to call the dog, the kid, and laughs just like my husband. Oh, he also likes to whistle the Andy Griffith Show tune.

I was born in Houston, raised in Houston with a brief period of 6 years in Oklahoma when I was in grades 1-6. My husband on the other hand is a Yankee. Southerners like to make fun of the yankees. It has been a learning experience.

Let me tell you about my Mark. A little over five years ago I had an ad in one of those online dating service things with a picture. I got an e-mail from this guy. It was quite the e-mail. It was very poetic. I could kick my self now for not saving it. Anyway, he introduced himself and gave all the descriptors. 5'6''!!! Oh no!! I am 5'10"!!! Anyway, because of the fact that the e-mail was so well written, I went ahead and e-mailed him back. He e-mailed me again and said he would call me on Saturday at 9:00 a.m. Ok, this was Wednesday and it was an eternity until Saturday rolled around. So, at 9:00 on the dot the phone rang. We talked until 11 and then decided to meet. He was great. We had EVERYTHING in common. He asked if I wanted to go out to eat and to the movies. I said I would love to but I didn't have a babysitter since my parents were out of town. He said that's ok, bring him along!!! What a guy. Making brownie points already!! So, he came by and picked us up and we went to eat and to the movies. It was instant attraction!!! So, then he took us home and stayed until about midnight and then left. I lived on the north side of Houston and he in Rosenberg so it was about an hour for him to get home. He called me to tell me that he made it home. I told him to check his e-mail. I told him in it I had a wonderful time and hoped that we could see each other again. He called me back and said to check mine. He said the same thing to me and that he wanted to kiss me but was afraid to make the move. Isn't that sweet!! Anyway, so we got together the next day and went to the lake to see my parents. No he wasn't nervous. (Yeah right!!!) Anyway, same thing that night, stayed to midnite. But this time he got his kiss!!!

So, he lived in Rosenberg, in a house that he had just had built a couple of months earlier. He had a stable job and a home, I knew this guy was worth getting to know!! So, I did and in September of that year we were married. We have been married for almost 5 years now and happy as we can be.

Mark works for the Veteran's Hospital as a Recreation Therapist. It's a great job and I love going and hearing the guys tell of their war stories.

I am a researcher. I run people's names for jobs and apartments and lawyers and ...well, it's pretty boring.

Jeremy just graduated from B.F. Terry High School. He is going to be a music education major.

I guess that's all for now. I hope you like my intro and I will add more as I think of it.