My Best Friend

I would like to tell you about my best friend. Her name is Bobbie Jean Carnathan Ruffin McCauley. She is my mom. My rock. She was the youngest of 4 daughters born to Walter Clifton and Clara Eunice Carnathan. They were the best grandparents you would ever want to have. My grandmother taught me alot. Anyway, back to my best friend...

She married Joe E. Ruffin in 1955, I believe. She was 17 and he was 19. Yes, they were young and no she was not pregnant!! A year later they had my oldest brother, Ricky, then a couple of years later they had my brother Greg. Then a couple of years later it was my turn!!! My mom almost died after having me. I will never forget the stories that have been told to me.

I try to think back as far as I can and remember things about my mom. I can remember a Christmas at Mamaw and Papaw's house in Oklahoma. The house was on Osage street. I was 4 I think. I had a new step-dad, Buddy (a wonderful story in it's self!) I remember they had gone out and cut down a tree for the Christmas tree. Actually I remember them bringing in the tree. That's the only thing I remember, except me having a Tea Party with my Auntie Doy with my new Christmas dishes. I guess my clearest memories is when we lived on Sandy Meadow in Houston. I can remember my mom ironing. Isn't that funny? I remember the smell of the starch that she shook out of a coke bottle I think with a lid with holes in it. I remember I got an ironing board and iron (kiddie) for Christmas during that time and I was going to be just like my mommy. (Today...Iron...are you kidding!!!) I remember my mom and step dad, who I will call dad now watching bull fights. I remember them making a candle out of crayons. I remember when my sister Sherryl was born and they played a trick on me and Greg and said that we couldn't see her till we got home and they made us squat down in the back seat. It was just a joke and we got to see her before we got home. I remember mom and dad's bed. It was always a safe haven. Today's terms this may sound awful, or perverted or whatever, but it was a loving bonding time. It was a time to have chats and just cuddle with my mom. I loved it so much. I remember one time she got mad at dad because he got home late from work and the weather was really stormy and she got mad at him for not calling her and telling her he was going to be late. Isn't it funny the things you remember. I remember I had a canopy bed. I thought it was the greatest thing in the world.

Then there was the school years in Oklahoma. My mom was at school it seemed every day. She was even Santa Clause one year. (Ok, now to a kid that would probably be really embarrassing, but then it wasn't) I remember her coming in to my 4th grade class and looking for something in her purse and she pulled out some weird things...a baby sock (Sherryl's); a sponge roller, and Lord knows what else!!! That time I was a little embarrassed.

When we moved back to Houston she worked and so she wasn't very involved in school. It didn't really matter that much though. She was always there when I needed her.

My biggest regret in my life is when I disappointed her so much when I like most other kids in the 70's experimented with pot. She over heard a conversation I was having and the look on her face, the hurt in her eyes just killed me. I will never ever forget that for as long as I live. I was the good kid. Never gave them much problem and then this. It was awful, but I guarantee you one thing, once she was finished with me, I never touched the stuff again. (Thanks Mom!!)

There was high school, graduation and then working. Wow!!! I was an adult. I had my own ideas and ways I thought my life should be and I learned many lessons from my mistakes and from not listening to my mom. You know, you think, "what does she know". Well, now that I am a parent of an adult, I realize that mom wasn't so stupid.

I got married at 21, had a baby at 23 and divorced at 25. Wow...if it hadn't been for my parents I would have never it through that. I was allowed to go home with my child. Then after a couple of years I was back on my feet and moved into an apartment. My mom was always a phone call away or right down the street. Then I got stupid again. Married for 6 months and divorced when he started hitting me and Jeremy. Once again my parents took us in. Then we moved out again after a couple of years and FINALLY I found someone who loves me unconditionally!!! Even my parents like him!!!

My mom has always been there, either monetarily or in prayer or even in just a phone call for me. In the last month or two I have found out that my health is declining and I was so scared. I had to call my mom so that I could just hear her voice and after I was finished talking to her, I knew that everything would be ok. One way or the other.

I feel guilty because I live so far away from my parents. It is about 2 1/2 hours to Lake Livingston where they have retired. You know with kids and work there are never enough hours in the day, or days in the week to take care of everything and I feel that I haven't visited her like I should.

I wish I was closer to mom so that I could see her regularly. I miss her so much. There are days I just need her. I usually call her once a day. Sometimes I can go a couple but no more that 3 or 4 days without talking to her.

Mom, if you do read this, please know that if I didn't have you for a mom, I don't know how I would have gotten through these last 41 years. Thank you so much for being there. For the words of wisdom. Some I love to hear and others I don't. Thank you thank you thank you.

I love you.